- citizen: it's a bird!
- citizen: it's a plane!
- *superman flies down with kryptonite between his teeth*
- superman: it's a metaphor
If you want to kiss me, you have to break though a window, flip up your coat collar, ruffle dat sexy hair, and mutherfucking kiss me. <3
do i have cramps or has my appendix exploded
does my boob hurt or am i having a heart attack
am i on my period or do i have internal bleeding
these are our struggles
Thinking of dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
The struggles of a man
thinking of my naked grandma isnt going to suck the blood back into my vagina
you need an award right now
So last week me and my friend were trying out a faceswap app
And for some reason it wouldn’t recognise that there were 2 faces in the picture
So we tried it from a different angle and
I was really confused and kind of offended at what it’d done to my face
NOT A DAY PASSES WHEN I DON’T LAUGH AT THIS
You know what’s worse than slow internet?
Anonymous asked: tell us your most embarrassing story
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
GET YOUR GAME IN THE HEAD
apparently you can’t be employed by the CIA if you’ve ever illegally downloaded music
breaking news: in 20 years, the CIA will operate out of the president’s basement, staffed by four old men and six guinea pigs
people without passwords on their phones are the strongest and most terrifying people you will ever meet
best modern family scene ever
I’m 91% pop and 91% punk, which makes me 182% pop-punk.
when u hear your favorite band in public
if u go through my phones call log all you see is my mothers number over and over
Reblog If You Can Take Off Your Bra Without Taking Your Shirt Off.
Girl’s are amazing
I think we broke the notes…
i feel like i’m reblogging history. “the post that broke the notes”
THERE ARE NO FUCKING NOTES
WE HAVE REACHED INFINITY
what the heLL
where is it